Last week I took my first half-hour spec comedy writing class. In this class, I'll learn how to build an outline for a speculative script of an existing show. The professor encouraged us to watch as much TV as possible in addition to completing the assignment. This was an OMG moment for me.
When I was little, I watched a lot of TV. Lots of kids watch TV, so my statement is not too remarkable. However, I watched so much TV that one New Year's morning, my mom purposely and literally cut the cord on our wood-paneled, bunny eared television, rendering it useless. This was quite the dramatic gesture. My mom is quite the dramatic lady. Anyway, starting from that year forward (I was in seventh grade), I had no television access. (Ok, I could watch TV on Thursday nights at my dad's house and at my grandparents' place every couple of weekends--but that was mostly golf and C-SPAN.)
I thought my troubles before the cut, as I'll call it, about not having cable were highly lamentable. I was clueless when all my friends talked about Lizzie McGuire and Spongebob Squarepants. It was a difficult time. But post-cut, whoo-whee, those were the dark ages.
I was furious with my mom on New Year's Day. I wanted to watch the Rose Parade on repeat! I'm not sure how I coped with all of those available hours for the first few weeks. My memory fails me most likely because I've blocked out that traumatic period. *Shivers*
Eventually though, I got used to it. My mom forced me into a rehab of sorts for TV addicts. I had more time to study. I excelled in school. Went to a good college. Graduated. And now I'm sitting naked in bed at 1:41 PM on a Tuesday writing for my blog after spending the entire morning until now watching TV. (Blood & Oil and The Grinder so far. I'm dying for the next episode of Scream Queens to come out!!)
Essentially, I've come full circle. My mother was smart enough to stop my TV addiction in its tracks with one fell swoop. Even when Netflix and Hulu became a thing while I was in college and I had full access to television, I wasn't all that into it anymore. I had spent so much of my formative years without TV that it just felt unnatural and unproductive to plop in front of the TV or rest in an extremely non-ergonomic position with laptop on chest in bed. (You know exactly the position I'm referring to.) Aside from binge-watching 30 Rock and the first few seasons of Mad Men, I didn't watch much TV in college. I missed the whole Game of Thrones phenom. (I tried to start watching the first season and catch up before the fifth season came out. I felt horribly left behind and late to the game so I just gave up.)
Well the decade-long TV hiatus for Andi Hester is no more. My love and addiction have been reignited. I am happily unproductive, lazing about in my birthday suit watching the new season of Empire until my labradoodle, Little Goat, whines for a walk or my mom catches on and somehow cuts the, this time, metaphorical cord of my TV.